basically what i am seeking is solace in knowing that it is OK for me to disengage myself from any contact with him. i have so much guilt because i feel like i am abandoning my parents in doing this
Not only is it ok it’s the healthiest thing you can do for yourself. I think face to face support groups are very important. Nar-anon, al-anon you will find support and others who are or have experienced what you are dealing with.
Guilt is a hard one, especially when we have been in the “care taker” mode for most of our lives. When we are constantly making sure everyone else is ok we get lost in the chaos. Then feel bad/guilt for wanting to find ourselves.
I know for me once I began al-anon and sticking with posting here, reading as much as I possible could and actually putting the advice I received to action, not only did my life become more peaceful and not so filled with FOG.
F = fear
O – obligation
G – guilt
You must be the change you wish to see in others. Become your parents example, seek help at meetings, set healthy boundaries and more importantly stick to them.
Keep posting, lots of great people here, lots of great advice and read the stickies at the top especially the one “What addicts do”.