basically what i am seeking is solace in knowing that it is OK for me to disengage myself from any contact with him. i have so much guilt because i feel like i am abandoning my parents in doing this..especially since he lives with them most of the time. so in a sense it means severing most contact with my parents.
Well, you don't need permission to take care of yourself. Your AB has been physically and verbally abusive towards you. There's more than adequate reason to believe he'll be so in the future. So do what you need to do.
As far as your parents go, a little compassion goes a long ways. Even if they get angry with you, do your best to not return fire. Don't burn a bridge unless you really have no choice.