finding balance (HELP!)
I will try to keep this as brief as possible and i apologize if i am going against SR forum etiquette. I am pretty new to this site.
My younger brother (im 30 he is 27) is an active abuuser of all types of pills (mostly anti anxiety and downers) and used to shoot up heroin. He is on probation now for a charge from a year ago so he is tested for heroin and alcohol regularly but his doctors still give him loads of anxiety meds/sleeping pills etc. He also manages to find ways to trade and sell...all while being on suboxone for 4+ years now.
Anyway this has been going on for almost 7 years. It started with him experimenting with just alcohol and weed and moved on to harder things as he got older and bigger. in 2006 his best friend died and since then he has had many other friends die from overdoses (mostly accidental). He now has severe/chronic depression not to mention addiction. he has overdosed (to the point of being on a ventilator) more than 10 times and has been to rehab about the same amount of times. nothing seems to work since he doesnt want to change and cant admit he has a problem and my parents cant afford a long term facility for him. I see my parents health and mental state deteriorating along with my brother and i feel so helpless.
I have learned to protect myself for the most part but my biggest issue (for myself) is finding a balance between supporting my parents, helping my brother and not driving myself and my spouse absolutely insane in the process. How do a continue to be a good daughter and sister when my parents are constantly enabling my brother to basically kill himself? My brother is emotionally and verbally abusive and has hit me before and its VERY hard to be around him. he is volatile. i know they are scared but what is the "proper" response for a sibling in this?
At least if someone can let me know what has NOT worked so i dont do it? i know i cant guilt my parents or my brother into changing (tried it and failed many times) and i know i cant ignore the problem. I am trying to save my family from themselves and i know i cant. but how do i separate myself? any input is appreciated.
note: i have tried counseling for myself and have found it hasnt been that helpful regarding my brother.