Originally Posted by
brynn 
Where does it leave you when you know it's beast activity, when you recognize your AV as such, but drink anyway?
It means you surrendered control of your language and actions to a perverted subhuman survival drive that has commingled with your beneficial survival drives. As such, you either made an insincere BP or, as the AV got louder, failed to separate your mature, adult, human side from your Beast.
Some people who have made a BP and then have drinks just give in to the Beast because they are weary of "fighting" it.
Don't fight it. Recognize it. It is eternal and will never go aways; we in turn must be timeless in abstinence. That is why counting is discouraged.
In sum, you became an animal, a party animal whose only goal was to get good and drunk and pursue the call of the wild in the night.
Would you steal money if there was an open and unattended cash register? Would you scream obscenities in a restaurant because your order was wrong? Would you crash your car into an inconsiderate driver who angered you?
I also think you are making it more complicated that it is in an attempt to explain and justify it, which is pure AV.