You are right in that the cotton is not the most important part of TC - although many make that mistake. It's just that 1) it's easy to show on camera and 2) easy to use as a test to see if TC is working.
When Evolv came out with the DNA40, for them the most important was the prevention of liquid overheating. They even kinda rushed the technology to be able to show it to the FDA.
Yes, airflow and juice, just like with a car engine. When tuning a high powered car, you can often up the turbo boost by just injecting more fuel to lower the combustion chamber temperature.
Same with ecigs, but there is a third factor: evaporation. It's like sweating for humans: the evaporation "removes" heat from the body. That's why Steam Engine - as useful as it is - is not really relevant.
But, again, we humans are very good at detecting acrolein et al. We even notice (smell) it when we overheat the olive oil or butter in our frying pan. So even without TC you will be able to vape safely.
The problem lies with high power vaping: some people like a hot vapor, and that tends to mask the taste/smell of overheating. Also: as soon as you stop inhaling, the heat is still there and can not magically disappear. That's not a problem with thinner wires, but is a serious problem with lower gauge wires (26g and down). You are "aftercooking" your liquid right after the inhale, with no airflow.
BTW: if you watch that video, Phil shows the signal on a dry coil, and then blows on the (bare) coil: the board notices and starts to send more power to the coil again until he stops blowing. Same with putting one drop of liquid on the wick.
Finally (and back where I started): when TC works well, you start to forget to check your juice levels. Especially when you are very busy at your desk or something, you keep taking a few drags without worry. Sometimes you feel something wrong as the vapor production starts to lessen. Low battery? Other problem? Nope: tank just bone dry. Nothing burned, nothing overheated, just fill up and start vaping again. That truly is wonderful.
Edit: it also allows you to vape a tank bone dry and switch flavors with no aftertaste and without having to rewick.
Vaping is already very safe compared to smoking, but with TC (and other new tech) we can even make it safer - especially for beginners. I predict that 1 year from now all beginner devices will have TC which will be hard to bypass. Like ABS on cars.
Anyway, good of you to worry about the liquids and temps and looking for ways to minimize harm even further.