Positives!
My story may be similar or different from most, I am not sure. I moved my son and I to a new city a few months ago, and getting sober was not even a slight blip on my future agenda. I was actually looking for a bartending job until I could find something in my line of work. I was drinking 45 to 60 beers a week (if not more) and woke up on 5/15/15 sick and tired of being sick and tired, depressed, anxious, etc. That morning, I got online, found this place and decided to give it a shot.
Since I have been sober, I have been jotting down a list of positives as they occur to me and I wanted to share them with you.
I AM NOT SICK!!! YAYY!! This is numero uno most important! I was an every other day drinker, and on the days I wasn't drinking, I would be laying on the couch or in the bed, sick and in pain and agony physically and mentally. I feel so much better!
I can use the toilet like a normal person! I know this is disgusting and TMI, but it is the truth! My insides were constantly boiling and taking a bowel movement was a nightmare. I will just say I have not touched the tube of Desitin for a week and a half!
I smell better! Alcohol was causing an acrid smell to emanate from my pores. I could get a shower and smell myself an hour later. I was constantly hot and sweating. I about froze my poor kid with the AC always running full blast!
I have more money in my pocket! I was spending an average of $45 to $150 a week being a drinker. This includes trips to the beer store, all-nighters at a bar, and the pursuit of fattening fast food on my hungover days.
I am losing weight! I have lost five pounds in the past two weeks! At the end of my drinking I was 40 pounds overweight. I still have 35 pounds more to go!
I LOVE MORNINGS! I have never liked mornings. I wake up now feeling good, take my doggy for a walk, drink coffee on my balcony while enjoying my plants and flowers. I get lost in my own thoughts contemplating life while the rest of the world is just waking up.
I am a better role model to my son! This goes without explanation!
I am not as embarrassed to be out in public and my social anxiety has all but diminished! I had gotten to the point I really didn't want to leave my house. If I HAD to leave, for such necessities as food and more beer, I would hurry and do it as quick as I could. Trips in my buildings elevator caused sheer panic being that close to strangers. I always felt I smelt of either beer or detox sweat. And I always felt like everyone else could sense something was 'off' about me.
I feel safer! No more walking to and from the bar in the middle of the night wasted and meeting unsavory characters!
I am more motivated!! I have made me a budget to pay down my debt, and somehow, it seems doable now! I also started a new job yesterday (by stroke of luck) and am excited to see my progress with this new company, as my new employers and co-workers will not have to deal with hungover, sick, grouchy me.
My liver and stomach are thanking me! I now can take ibuprofen without worrying it is tearing a hole in my organs!
I plan on making sober friends! Moving to a new place and not knowing anyone has definitely made it easier as my drinking buddies are hundreds of miles away. But I have to say they have all been extremely supportive over the phone! Looks like I was the one with the drinking problem. Who knew! Lol
I am having more fun and being more active! I went for two long walks this week to explore my new city. One day I went for 3 hours and the next for 5 hours. I packed a lunch, took my camera and kept music in my ears. (I also had my pepper spray)
I have not had even one little bout of depression in the past week and a half! This is huge for me, as I have suffered from depression off and on for years. When people would say alcohol was a depressant I didn't believe it. Ha!
This one is weird, but I keep having moments of deja vu where I feel like a kid again! Crazy but true!
Of course not every minute is easy. Last night (Friday evening) my AV kept saying, "YOU deserve a beer after a really hard first day at work, that is what EVERYONE else is doing on Friday nights!" I shut AV down and listened to my tired body instead. I got a shower and went to bed early. Woke up feeling great this morning, checked my facebook and read friends' drunken 4am posts that were rambling and sad and some almost incoherent. I know at this present moment I feel great and they are still sleeping and will wake up to a miserable day.
What is keeping me going is ONE DAY AT A TIME. I come here and read y'all for inspiration. I go to the library and get motivational books. My favorite thus far has been 'Drunk Mom".
So many of you come here and pour your hearts out and share your innermost demons and it has helped me more than words can say! I wanted to return the favor. I will keep at it and you do the same! If any of you need to talk, please feel free to message me, I am here! Hugs everyone!