Debby... I feel your pain. I had a major cocaine problem (among other things) in the 80's. I used for over a decade. I was clean for seven years and I'm not fighting it this time around, but I still remember the hell (thankfully).
I don't think Maria83 was saying you did the wrong thing. I read it to say that she doesn't agree it will work as far as the dealer is concerned. It comes off as a friendly warning to me. I would have to agree with her that it's a rare dealer that will agree not to sell to you. They're ususally using and a lot of them sell to be able to use. When I used cocaine, I dealt it because it was the only way to afford my habit. I wouldn't have listened to someone tell me not to sell to them.
Please don't chose to feel stupid or worthless. If you've been here in the past, then you know about all the love and support that's here. Including from Maria (read her post again). Take the advice you want and leave the rest behind.
I've been aggitated myself this past week, but this time around I know that any feelings I'm having are my responsibility and mine alone. When I realized that no one can "make" me feel any particular way and that I have the ability to respond any way I choose, it was the most liberating day of my life. I went from an angry young man to be able to laugh at anything.
I'm sorry if you find some harshness in this post as well, but I'm completely sincere that my words come from friendship and love as I believe they did from Maria as well. Keep posting and do what you think is best for your recovery. If something isn't working, change it... but keep an open mind to others advice... we're all in the same boat, right?
much love...