Welcome Sparksz. You've taken the first step in realizing what you have been doing just doesn't work. This is the most difficult time but please try and stick with it. You won't believe how good you feel physically in a few days & weeks. The good news for you is, you're only 30 and you have already realized that alcohol is consuming you. You can fix that and then have the majority of your life ahead of you. It took me a lot longer to figure it out. Hang in there. It gets better fast.