Yeah, well I found out that every time I told my doctor I was having a difficulty with anything, she prescribed medication. That's what they do. Their solution is always a pill. I stopped telling her stuff, and got off all my meds. The side effects were too much for me, and I needed to try it. I personally feel that the anti-anxiety meds were what led me back to drinking after 18 years sobriety.
Grief is absolutely a process. For me it was made so much worse by drinking. Drinking added to depression and anxiety and I couldn't dig out of the grief while drinking. Now I have come to grips with my new reality - without my family members and without numbing myself out. I still have times when grief is way-too-close. Just this weekend I had a day where all I could do was feel sorry for myself with no family with whom to celebrate the holidays. That was okay, I need to remember intensely sometimes. Drinking was not the solution - never has been.
((hug)) You can and you will dig out. I hope you will be kind to yourself in some way today. Do something you love to do that you haven't done in a while.
Have you stopped drinking? That is Job #1.
