You know what to do. Call your doctor for help to get off the Abilify. Put down the bottle.
It's okay, you've identified the stressors. Get back at it. Sobriety is much better than the alternative.
I understand grief and what it can do to your mind. I know I cannot do anything about the deaths of my family members and that they would not want me to drink myself to death because of it. It was simply their time.