So sorry to hear you've been struggling in the fellowship. Have you spoken to your sponsor about how you feel? Did step work not help these feelings at all?
I have noticed that all meetings have a different feel, and people are just people at the end of the day, so they all have their own ways about them.
I chose my sponsor for a number of reasons. Firstly she seemed a strong woman, with no inclination to gossip. Second she's kind of no-nonsense and doesn't let me get away with fooling myself. In meetings she seems quiet and stoic. One to one she's more chatty.
The meetings that I have chosen to make my regular meetings are loving, friendly and encouraging. The shares tend to be more recovery or steps focussed than pure drunkalogue (sometime specific memories or experiences are mentioned to illustrate a point, but not dwelt upon). Harshness and critical have not (thank goodness) been my own experiences at any meetings I've attended, and it saddens me to think that some people elsewhere have experienced this.
I can also see how meetings could act as a trigger for memories of your relationships in early childhood. My step-dad was an AAer and (although we got off to a rocky start) I grew to love him very much. Recently his sponsor has attended a few of my home group meetings, and it has stirred some happy memories of my stepdad. Lucky for me it's positive ones they're stirring. Sad and tricky for those with less positive memories that might get stirred up.
Is it worth chatting to your sponsor at all? Explaining about the memories that the group brings up for you, and the anxiety that is triggered by these? Or maybe trying some different meetings that may have a different feel and attitude? If not, maybe it is time to take a break and try some of the other approaches / support networks that are out there. AA will still be there if you decide you do want to come back.
I hope that you find some strength, hope and comfort to help you on your journey of sobriety, within the fellowship of AA, or elsewhere.