Thanks
Wow, thank you everyone for ypur very thoughtful responses. I have dealt with depression on and off since I was about eleven, but never really got any treatment until last year when I was hospitalized for six weeks. Since then I've been on a leave of absence from work and have been doing the medication and therapy thing.
I guess it's just come to the point where I'm just going to have to accept that depression and anxiety are going to be a part of my life. Drinking definitely isn't a solution. I know this, but I still think about it. It would be really nice to just zone out for a while. But it wouldn't be worth it. I just have to keep reminding myself. It's nice to know that other people have been there.
It's just that I feel like I've got three different worlds around me (AA, therapy, and church) and all are supposed to be places where I can be honest about who I am, and I can theoretically deal with things and be happy. But none of them mesh, and I have a hard time explaining one to the other. And even though each offers a sort of similar solution, sometimes they just don't gel together. So I feel like I'm playing a role in each and I still don't know who I am.
Sorry. Sort of off topic and confusing. But I'm sort of off and confused right now, so what the heck. Thanks for reading.