What Dee said! Chanty, next time those urges hit fight for those controls and force that automatic pilot to detour into these forums or to an AA meeting or to the phone if you've got someone you can call. In other words, ask for help. It's what I've been doing for the last 18 days and it's working for me. I know you've got kids and a life to live, etc, so I'm not saying you've got to go post-crazy like I have over the last week (had a lot of time on my hands since I'm not working) but I do truly believe that these forums have kept me sober and mostly sane this go around. One alcoholic helping another. It's a cool concept. Give us a chance to help you next time!
By the way, I am so glad to see you!