Welcome back Debby, sounds like you are on the right track. Telling my dealer not to sell to me was one of the hardest things I did. He was more of a friend than a "real dealer" so he was cool with it. He too thought maybe things were getting a bit out of control for me. Comming out of the closet with this stuff is some of the best stuff you can do!! You've been around for awhile, so I'm sure you know all about NA and other recovery programs out there. I've found it does help to be involved to some extent, even if just to get around some clean people. I stay very active on these boards as well as some other recovery sites. It just helps to keep my head in the right place. Congrats on you decision to "come back", you know you are always welcome!! Take care