Day 1
I am finally saying I have a cocaine problem. But tonight is different because tonight I am promising myself that I will not do any tonight and pray I have the courage to contact someone tomorrow if I feel the need. I already told the people I get it from that I no longer wish to continue because it is becoming a big problem and If I should go to them then they are to say NO!!! (they happily agreed and said they saw it coming) I also contacted a long time friend and my husband and said when I feel the need I will contact you ASAP. (They to happily agreed and said they saw it coming) And here I thought they were the stupid ones. WRONG!
I came here to SR last year and I was able to get off pain meds (thank you all). But after that I had a bad time and started doing cocaine. I have been doing that for 7 months now. I was trying to only do it once a week, but now I find myself wanting more. Needless to say I want off this junk. My face looks 10 years older, I have gained weight and am going broke. I am lieing not only to others but myself as well. So I came back to SR to help me start the process. I know that I have to start here since it worked so well for me before.
So there, I have finally said it out loud and am starting my new life today. Today was the first day in 7 months I went to a function sober. God it felt good. Thank you for listening and I will be back. I would appreciate any advice I can get.
Thanks again
Debby