BlueChair: I have also read studies that show that socialization with non-drinkers is probably the most important factor that helps people who attend AA meetings. I see that you recommend the book "Inside Rehab" by Anne Fletcher. Reading that book was something of a turning point for me, when I read her opinion that AA works for many people, but not for all. At that point I made a decision to stop struggling with the concepts of AA that I just did not get, and move on to something else.
Personally, I did not feel that I need to join a new social group of non-drinkers, since virtually all of my existing friends drank lightly or not at all, and drinking was not the reason for our friendship. When I quit drinking, it was no big deal to them. When I used to drink heavily, I drank alone at home, in secret.