Originally Posted by
autumn4 
I guess I feel weak , scared & brainwashed that AA really is the only way!!!.
No, it's not the only way!
There are as many paths as there are people with addiction problems, keep looking and you may find yours. The only caveat there is, in many places the only option is AA, in which case it gets harder - in that scenario, many people find their real support online (forums like this, email lists, chat rooms) and go to AA meetings just for some face to face contact. I couldn't stand AA either, you're far from alone.