I had similar experiences with AA and other fellowships. I read here about the welcoming AA and I never found it in the great many meetings I attended over my years in AA.
Eventually, I took the advice of a wise sponsor. You are not in AA to make friends. You go, you listen, and you reflect. While AA did not help me a lot in any practical way, it did give me a vision of what sobriety could be...which prepared me to do the things that helped more.
I avoided large (20 or more) meetings and found that small (4 to 10 people) meetings were best because people could speak in more depth, which I found was more useful than the 2 minute check-ins at large meetings. I myself rarely spoke which kept me out of the line of fire after meetings.
AA does not need to be an answer. It may just be a stop on your way to sobriety that gives you some little help.
For me it was going into therapy. Clinical psychologists really helped me. Some of us need one on one help---the group and the higher power just are not what are going to do it for us. We just need to be able to talk openly with one person.
Just figuring out what I needed was a big thing. AA was the laboratory where I did that--even if the conclusion was that AA was not what I needed.