Hey Autumn! Nice to meet you!
I posed a very similar question( under my old user name yacine14)
I have definitely had the exact same experience as you when I decided to quit drinking 43 days ago. I absolutely feel like AA is cliquey, feel like a total outsider! I dropped my sponsor because I didn't feel comfortable sharing with her because of the judgement and the scolding.
Hearing everybody's story in meetings, while I identified with some of them, they generally made me more depressed. the guilt you feel for not going to a meeting every single day was all just too much for me!
So haven't been to a meeting in 2 weeks and just come on here SR several times a day, read what everybody is going through and post when I can when I have something to contribute to the conversation!
I will occasionally pop my head at AA meetings if I feel the urge to go but I'm not going to feel like if I don't go to a meeting I will relapse or die! I just don't think that's true at all!
Good luck to you! And message me if you want to talk!