Originally Posted by
SDH73 
I was just thinking about it and I think that in some demented way I kind of wanted to detox again. To remember the residual pain of bingeing and how helpless I become when I let alcohol in. I'd gotten so used to sleeping well and waking up feeling good that I'd forgotten how miserable this is. Of course, that train of thought didn't consciously emerge, but I'd been having such a tough time lately that maybe I needed a reminder. I'd been working so hard to make things better that I forgot how BAD they COULD be.
I can't help but feel like this is all AV. You were like 4 or 5 months sober, right? What happens when you make a year or two and "forget" the misery again? Building a sober life, in my opinion is about finding those positives about living sober and doing anything you can to never lose them. Bad memories always fade and become distorted. You stay away from a bad relationship long enough and you can't even remember the bad things that happened anymore. All the more reason to focus on the positives. Remember, the AV is sneaky and will use ANY reason it can to get its fix.