You sound like me!! I'm a mom of two, great husband, financially secure. Back issues after my second son starting taking datvocet when I didn't need it. Went on for a year, threw everything out stopped but then I relied on alcohol to get through a bad day! Starting mixing xanex here and there . I'm almost a year clean from everything!! The oils, alcohol are tricking you. They make you think you need them to "take the edge off" it's not true. It only gives you an escape them irritability anxiety hangover and then your crabby and need something again. You can be free from it. It feels so good! Best if all you can show your kids healthy coping when ur stressed!