I prefer to talk about what you will "tolerate" rather than what you will "accept." Acceptance doesn't imply that the behavior is OK, it's simply acknowledging the reality of the behavior. Not trying to rationalize it or make it into something it's not for the sake of excusing it and avoiding the reality of it.
It's also possible to temporarily tolerate behavior while you decide what you are going to do in response to it--what boundaries you need to establish, what you will do when they are crossed, whether to stay until you have some money saved up vs. leaving immediately for the sake of your own safety or sanity.
If we can just be honest with ourselves about what is, what we are doing, and why we are doing it, that's when we are really on the road to recovery, IMO.