RussC

Hi.

I've been lurking here off and on for a while and have fought to moderate my drinking for years. I've quit a number of times, sometimes for long stretches. Last year I went about 6 months from May to the holidays. Then I rationalized that my drinking wasn't as bad as I thought and I could have a few beers at the football game, or I'd only drink on Saturday, yadda yadda. Like everytime before, I moderated for a while but then I find myself right back to the bad place. I've binged for the last two weeks -- waking up every morning feeling awful.

I've never had any large consequences to my drinking. No DUIs, I have a professional job, a good wife and kids, etc. I am very thankful for all of that, but I think I use that to rationalize my way right back here after periods of not drinking. I know that wont always be the case -- each time I get a little worse.

I know I need a plan to remain vigilent and not fall into the cycle again. Part of my new plan is to stop lurking and create an account on here. I turn 40 this year -- time to put an end to this cycle

Thanks for reading.