Wilderness.....please, understand that we only know bits and pieces of the details of your life and situation. We are just making suggestions.....SUGGESTIONS ( not orders......LOL!!) in hopes of hitting on on something to help you. We, who have been in similar shoes to you really do want to help, if we can.....
I think that identifying that lonliness is at the heart of your pain is a very important point that you have identified.
Now, here is something that "we" can work with!! Yea!
By the way....being in an unsatisfying relationship is the lonlinessest a person can be, in my opinion. It is far worse than being a single mom!
Hon....you need to make connections with other people......
There are ways of doing that.....
This forum can help you...if you are open to exploring that....
I was the single mother of three small children for several years....and I was far less lonely than during my marriage to their father.
dandylion
P.S. You can talk to his mother if you want to...but, I wouldn't get my hopes up high that it will do any good......