Wilderness.....I think that happybeingme is on the right track for you....
You need help with resources and opportunities in this life.......things that will develop you as a person and enable you to gain the resources that you need for raising a family.
That is what is supposed to bring you a solid sense of happiness and true freedom to enjoy life.
Bringing bad relationship material into your home will only make your misery deepen----even if he is the father of your youngest child. He can still make you more miserable than you already are!!!!
A good relationship would make your life better and enrich your life. You have been miserable for a long time, now...according to your posts.
I believe that you should check out the resources suggested by happybeingme. He should be providing for his child.
If he makes a child...he MUST provide for that child...at least, financially.....
Perhaps you could look into resources for further education.....and greater earning potential.
Maybe, moving from such a secluded environment would be advantageous for you and your family.
Without lots of family and community support----it is easier to be a single parent in a mo re urban environment that isolated out into the countryside (even if it is beautiful). Just the practical realities of life.....
If there are any churches inyour countryside--check to see if any of them have CelebrateRecovery program.....it could be of great emotional as well as practical resource for you.
Help is out there if you look.....Where there is a will there is a way....
(He is not the answer for you),
dandylion