sg1970

Don't feel over dramatic. Alcoholism doesn't discriminate.

Your post about him reminds me very much of myself 25 years ago. I can't say whether he is an alkie or not. What I can say is that now that I look back I think I was an alcoholic from the start in High School. It helped me escape from myself who I really didn't like much. People may not have seen that but it was there. I made bad decisions like you describe but none too major. I also wouldn't get blind drunk every time or drink every day. But the alcoholism was there. It progressed to the point where at 44 I was drinking purposefully to blackout every day and alcohol was my number one priority. It probably wouldn't be far fetched to say it was my number one priority from about 20 years old on. During that time I got married and had two kids with my college sweetheart. She never stood a chance though of meaning as much to me as alcohol. Now we are trying to sort through the wreckage. The last ten years of our marriage has been agony for both of us and it probably won't survive. We are both sick and have done things to the other that neither one deserves. Two kids have witnessed this dysfunction.

I say all of this to come back full circle to the fact that I can't diagnose him as an alkie but it doesn't sound good. And remember, you can't save the alkie. It took me 25 years to hit bottom. The main point I wanted to make though is that IF he is an alkie he can't have a real loving relationship with you as long as he is not in recovery (as opposed to just sobriety) for himself. I would ask that you think very hard about the paragraph above and ask yourself if my story sounds like a future you want.

Best wishes.