Reading your post took me back to the early days with my ex. The drunken incidents, the escalating abuse (yes it is abuse), the "90% wonderful" relationship.
I stayed for a lot of the same reasons. It didn't happen all the time. All the really bad stuff could kind of be excused away because he was drunk, etc.
But all the behavior he is demonstrating is progressive. This is the BEST he will ever be without real recovery. I lived with this stuff for five years. Toward the end he was a daily drinker and all the behaviors you mentioned were happening constantly.
There's a parable here about a frog in a pot of boiling water that described my experience. If you throw a frog in a pot of boiling water it will jump right back out again. If you put a front in a pot of cool water and slowly raise the temperature by a degree or two at a time, the frog will eventually boil to death. It's really good that you typed out your experiences and shared them here. Writing things down was one of the biggest steps I took that helped me realize that yes, things really were "that bad."
Something else I've read here, which was like a sucker punch at first, but then helped me tremendously- people know what they're doing DURING a blackout. They are lucid, making conscious decisions about their behavior. It's only after a period of being unconscious that they forget.
Please read around the site, keep posting, ask lots of questions. You're in the right place and we are here for you.
Real love doesn't hurt this way. You deserve better. I'm so glad you're here. It took me way to long to reach out for help. You're very brave. Welcome.