Thank you, Venecia.
Mary Ann continues to struggle with denial, though she's also been making plans for the worst possible outcome. As you and others have suggested, I've taken a lot of this on myself. It's as though I'm compensating for her denial by grieving in advance. After all, her condition has not gotten any worse since her surgery, nearly two months ago. I'm seeing my therapist next week for an extra session.
Mary Ann doesn't need care in the sense that she cannot take care of herself. She's nearly fully functional in that regard. Her (for now) healthy sense denial prevents her from getting involved in support groups, which she knows are available, or seeking out counseling. We've talked about this on a few occasions. I know that this will change, and now is not the time to push her in that direction.
Thanks again for your support.