Memories from an alcoholic
I'm a recovering alcoholic. Approaching 1 mo sober...and loving it.
I find myself in places or situations fairly often that remind me of my alcoholism. As an all day drunk, there's plenty of them.
It hasn't taken long for me to stop romanticizing alcohol. All my memories are bad. And I like to keep it that way.
So I'm posting them in effort to keep them alive. As I know one day, they'll be faded. I'll start forgetting the horrible experience and may start romanticizing again one day.
I like the idea of posting here instead of a written journal as this is more private. Kept close to my alcoholic family. Anyone else who would pick up a found journal and read would be shocked. I have nooo problem sharing my darkest moments with the ambiguity of an online avatar, plus I know there is NOTHING I can say here that will be judged!
EVERYONE is welcome to add or comment. The more the better. Your comments will help me, and others I'm sure. I've learned something during my short presence here, and that is we all have similar experiences.
With that being said....
I just drove by a parking lot where I had once stopped to prepare for going home. I hid my all day drinking and would stop to freshen breath with mouthwash, finish the drink I was working on in my car. Hide the bottle of vodka in the back of my SUV, etc.
Next to this parking lot was a bar. And I remember thinking maybe I have time for a quickie. I figured not and headed home. As I pulled out, a cop came right up behind me. I was crapping my pants. I was wondering if he saw me move my vodka bottle.
He stayed right on me for a while, then turned off.
Today, I stopped in the same lot to shift my work around and get organized for my next stop. Noticed where I was, and almost cried in relief.
No more lying. No more fear of police.
And wouldn't you know it.....
As soon as I pulled away, a cop was on me again! This time no worries. Almost hoping he'd pull me over so I could prove I was sober. Lol.
Life is great being sober.