I've read about this behavior. They call it hoovering. It's like trying to suck you back into the no-boundary mess. Let's forget all of that stuff and just be family again, right? Oh, by the way, you're implying that all of my behavior is ok.
My brother has done that a few times. We work in the same school district, so it would be unprofessional for me to refuse his calls. He would ask these seemingly innocent questions. I would just stay in business mode and answer them and that was it. Maybe it was unsuccessful hoovering. Maybe it wasn't
His wife tried the same thing. I have a strict boundary there. I'll talk to them due to work requiring me too. But anything else? NOPE.
She even tried to argue with me about a decision that was mine (to invalidate a test where she reported the student had marked random answers). I said, "I've heard you say that the student made little to no effort, that is cause for invalidation and I will invalidate the test". I bet she's not used to people standing up to her. I was not interested in any argument. I said goodbye and thanks for reporting the issue. lol.
Haven't had a hoover incident in a while. I have a baby on the way, and they have said nothing about it. I'm sure they've found out by now. I'm maintaining no contact unless both my wife and I are convinced that they are truly sorry for their behavior and want a loving, accepting relationship with both myself and my wife. Otherwise, no thanks - I'm not interested in drinking the poison.