Why are you not contacting her until she contacts you?
Are you leaning toward permanent separation?
I only ask because I know that things left alone will unravel in not-so-positive ways.
I was the youngest in my family. I always waited for them to contact me. It didn't always serve me well. I think we all have that, "Well, they could call me."
I hope you start to figure out which way you want this to go and take action. Letting things fester never works for me, and if I have anger then that is a sign that changes need to happen. Of course in your case, it may not be permanent - even more reason to push for solutions. Things left alone don't often resolve themselves. All you can do is try to address your issues, not hers. Maybe a clergy or counselor can talk with you both before this split becomes permanent?
When I was getting divorced, the best thing for me was to keep things moving forward and not just let them stay the same. I had to ask him to leave, I had to hire an attorney, I had to go forward with what I wanted in order to stay sane. I had to separate our finances, talk to the families, find a roommate, etc. Moving toward what I knew I needed was important.
((blessings))