Hello Thotful,
Have you studied drama triangles? This link is fairly decent in describing them. Give some consideration that you may have moved from victim to persecutor/rescuer depending on who you are dealing with in your family. Your recovery and the shining the armor of truth could be just new weapons in an old family war. But the best approach is to get off the triangle. This is a lot easier said than done.
The Drama Triangle: The Three Roles of Victimhood - article by Dr. Lynne Namka