Life has changed my friends. I wrote here four months ago, praying that that night would be my first night sober. I went to an AA meeting, came home, put the kids to rest, and stayed up til near 4am. Didn't drink. Went to bed tired. Went to 90 meetings in 90 days, got a sponsor that I adore. We have done hard work together. I have faced challenges, many - most dealing with having my true feelings and emotions feeling nakedly on display at all times, and admitting my weaknesses to my loved ones.
It hasn't been an easy road, and I've been tempted. Sadly, I forgot my username and password here so I've been a daily lurker. I thank you all for your stories, as you have helped me more times than you know. I feel so surrounded by people who support my sobriety that sometimes it feels like a superhuman shield.
I wont lie - it's not been a bed of roses
But if it helps anyone, here are my steps that I've taken to get this far
1) Doctor's visit - admitted all to Dr. He came up with at home detox plan that was medicated. I followed it to the letter and did not face terrible detox symptoms, which I believe helped me a great deal.
2) Went to AA immediately. I am usually silent, but listening to the stories of others has always helped, and it continues
3) Admitted to those closest to me that my problem was real, existed, and that I needed their help when it seemed as though my resolve might fade. They did.
4) I take every day one day at a time. I stopped projecting the worries of tomorrow.
5) I have dealt with and continue to deal with insomnia. I thought the alcohol helped. I now know the difference between sleep, even just a few hours, and a blackout. I'll take the few hours sleep any day.
6) I replaced my alcoholic nights with boot camps, girls get togethers without alcohol, and planned game nights with friends and family.
Most important, I am PRESENT in my life, something I couldn't dream of for years.
I wish this to continue for myself, and to happen for all of you. Glad I retrieved my password. And much thanks and love to you all.
PS - my actual four months was last Wednesday on my 40th birthday. Felt fitting.
