Timetoheal12

I don't feel well...
It's been a week since my (suspectedly) alcoholic ex dumped me and I still wonder about everything. It is definitely not OK, I mean, this is the second time he ever dumps me, this isn't my first experience with him and it is also not the first time I feel so low and overanalyze everything he said or did.

He said we weren't compatible.. It is weird... I really felt like he did love me.

Now he is pursuing another friend of mine (he's already done this once) and my older brother told me he has been posting some passive-agressive stuff on facebook (I asked him to unfriend him) but the point here is, why? Why in hell would you still want to twist your knife inside me if you had already caused so much pain?
What for?... What did I do to him?

I spoke to my therapist about this and she, being well experienced with A's, told me that perhaps he was mad at me because I said "no" when he asked me to meet just to say he was sorry for everything he did to me (I mean.. he had the chance to dump me in person... and he dumped me via social media the last day I saw him, so, why bother with a thing like this? Was he trying to hurt me more or to relieve his guilt?)

I can't go on like this but my next appointment with my therapist seems far away right now.
I've been trying to focus in my improvement but I really can't understand why it was so hard for him to make an effort... I keep seeing him as a normal person but, my mom always said he surely had issues with alcohol (well, maybe she knows... she is married with one and three of her brothers are A's too...). So I'm on denial.

I miss him and I miss the good times when he really made an effort to stay with me.

I now feel like an idiot for having gave him another shot...