Hi and welcome from me to. You will find a great deal of friendship and support here.
Have attended NA meetings? if not I would suggest that you do. I was also a meth user for years, will be coming up on 10 years clean soon and I never imagined my life could ever be as happy as it is. for me I had to get hooked into NA, get a sponsor and work the steps. For me it wasn't about the drug it was about not wanting to feel, not wanting to grow up, not wanting to be responsible. it was about masking pain of things that had been done to me and things that I had done. Through working the steps of the program I have learned how to live life today. I have more gifts in my life than I could ever imagine.
I hope you give it a try.