Wondering if I'll ever be myself again
Hi everyone. Needing someone to listen. I'm caught in the loop of "a year ago at this time, we didn't have these problems" "if only my son hadn't done (fill in the blank) ..."what if I had sent him to military school?" ... "Why do my friends' kids all have wonderful young adult lives?"
OMG I am SO sick of being awakened at 4 in the morning to these thoughts.
I weep for the child he could be. I weep for the happy-go-lucky woman I used to be. I know all the AlAnon quotes. I know I'm not responsible for any of it. We are just stuck in this vicious cycle.
Just needed to get that out. I'm sitting here looking at him now and you would never have a clue what he's done to his life and our lives.