4th Step has got a lot to do (lists to write in it) and lots of adjusting of perspective. You might well see a change after he's done Step 5 (Step 5 is when he's written all the lists and is sharing his Step 4 stuff with his sponsor).
My partner was actually quite interested to read about the steps and understand a bit of what I was trying to do. If you want to read about Step 4 then then you can download The 12 Steps and 12 -Traditions by chapter.
Having said that there's a lot to do in it - it's not a full time job!! He can still do chores and look after himself and muck in with the house!
*Hugs* to you. Hope you're getting the support you need for yourself.