Originally Posted by
buckeyegirly 
So ashamed. It was a 4 day drinking binge. I have been sober now going on three days. Day three is so tough. My alcoholic voice is already starting up so I came on here to hear sober voices. I have to quit for good this time. I have to.
All the advice from other abstinent and / or sober alcoholics at AA meetings or in psychotherapy didn’t work, due to it being usually the same if not similar advice I got from people before AA and psychotherapy. I wasn’t ready to give-up the booze until I was ready and it was in my time and no one else’s time.
I relapsed numerous times and it took every relapse to where I finally reached my bottom and surrendered. However, after attending AA meetings for years as a relapse, for the first time I heard a man say something different than I’d heard before from those that were trying to be helpful. He said, John Barleycorn (booze) is the best teacher, so keep drinking until hopefully one day you’ll give–up, reach your bottom and surrender. I asked him how will I know when to give-up and surrender. He said, if you don’t die, then you’ll know when you’ve reached your bottom and surrendered.
Then he suggested I read the writings on surrender by Harry Tiebout, MD. His writings are on line at Silkworth.net
He did me one of the biggest favors in my life, he didn’t tell me not to drink!