I completely understand your dilemma, but simply put your sobriety is worth everything. Having made a complete **S of myself at a business function with my husband, trust me- having stuck to my sobriety for 2 hours and had club soda with lime instead of wine would have me today with many less regrets, guilt and shame. It isn't worth it. If you are honest with yourself, the first drink will lead you down the path you do not want to go again. Congrats on almost 2 months! You can do it!