Thanks for your heartfelt posts, amigo.
I drank for 13 years also (if you don't count years of experimenation in high school) and then asked for help and went through treatment.
I was 31 years old at the time.
I still go to AA and I have also enjoyed being able to post on this forum.
AA and recovery have been real blessings for me.
I don't have those horrible experiences you mentioned in your posts anymore.
I hope that you select and work a program of recovery which helps you get and stay sober.
And, of course, please keep posting here so we know how you are doing.