Thanks for the input , this really IS the millionth or so time at attempting sobriety, I couldn't do it before without the therapy I just couldn't but I have that one major tool soon in place! I have seen other therapists but they were just cringe worthy and did NOT have a clue, I seen this woman when I was 12 and she said to a family friend ( LONG story there) that if I didn't get sorted then that I was in trouble for later on in life, she was right! BUT she is here once again in my life to help!