Day 4
Feeling a bit more positive emotionally today, but still disgusted with my failure. Thank you Boozer, Wolf, Hevyn, Dee, and Purpleknight (welcome to my home here on SR).
If there is a silver lining to my relapse, perhaps it is this: I only drank for one day. Here's my serial binge drinking pattern for the last couple of years . . .
On the first day, a fifth+ of rum
On the second day I'd get up early, having crashed on the first day, and have more rum. Just a bit, I always told myself, enough to take the edge off and get squared away. Of course that "just a bit" turned into all day drinking, usually about a fifth and a half.
The third day, pretty much the same as the second day. Another fifth and a half.
The fourth day is where it gets interesting. After about another fifth my body just refused to take on more rum. Really couldn't even swallow it. So I'd decide, okay, I can't do this anymore. But . . . since I'm going to quit, why not go out in a burst of glory? So I would drink about two more fifths, one vodka and one Kahlua. White Russians. Pretty impressive, huh?
On the fifth day I'd be pretty much dead, but found some peace that I would quit drinking.
But . . . on the sixth day, rinse and repeat. Start the whole binge cycle over.
At least I didn't do that this time.