ruthhoney

Over the past two weeks since I found out He has a girlfriend I've been in this emotional cycle.

The addict deceived me in his pursuit of me. I got stuck as soon as I invested in it emotionally. Once the truth about his addiction surfaced, I confronted him out of despair and hurt, he shut down and punished me emotionally by ignoring me without facing me or communicating with me. That was a terrible way of handling an end of a relationship with someone you've know for 6 years and claimed to care about so much. The lie continued until I found he is in a committed relationship with his ex girlfriend whom he told me he didn't love and was crazy and he was only seeking sobriety guidance from her.

Why it's so difficult for me to let go and move on? One minute I feel happy for him that he finds someone who understands him and can support him through this battle of addiction together and a much better fit for him than me. The next minute I feel no I was deceived he has never completely broken up with her. He must have handled all relationships and love interests in a similar way and I was no exception. Who knows whether he is truly sober in recovery since he doesn't seem to be honest. He continued to lie to me right by omitting he has a girlfriend by telling me it's nice to keep in touch.
Then the next minute I feel guilty that I think of someone's sobriety this way.
Then I see their photo holding each other smiling so happily I feel sad. I've been praying for his recovery for as long as I know him. And got him to rehab. Now he comes out became this perfect man for another girl.

Then I feel no she was the real girl I was kept away from his drug use life. I was not real.

I met him when I was 24. I am 32 now. 8 years of my emotion feelings were devoted to this guy. Or so wasted on this guy. How could I be convinced by his claimed love towards me? The last time I saw him it was great. But it was not going anywhere. I wanted to communicate with him honestly about my feeling and genuinely gave him a choice. He refused to face me and blamed me for not trusting him.

I am an otherwise fairly attractive girl who is highly educated. But I now have little faith that I will ever be able to meet the right person and have a healthy relationship that leads to somewhere ever.

Why he won't make amends to me and apologize to me if he is in such a good place in his recovery? Why would he continue to say great to hear from me I care about you etc giving me the impression that he is focusing on his recovery when in reality he is in a relationship.

They are getting married soon and he is broadcasting their love. They seem like a miracle couple who supported each other through the darkest time of their addiction to opiate, alcohol, cocaine and heroine.

I never wanted anything other than honesty, a sincere conversation. He refused to do that. It was like once something is broken, he just throws it away and finds something new.

But perhaps they truly love each other since their feelings are built upon honesty. And U.S. Was just a fantasy since everything was a lie.

I haven't been doing very well mentally and emotionally. I 've been struggling. Someday I am better. I went to my first Al anon meeting and it was helpful. People understood me they went through the same emotions. I will go to a Nar anon meeting as well.

My other friends who don't understand addiction told me that I didn't support him enough and didn't control my anger well and not patient enough so no wonder he went to someone who can understand him better.