Thanks for all the support guys.
You know, I think one of the things I think caused my alcoholism is that I'm just not that good at understanding my own feelings. I just run away from them instead. I'm a writer and until I write it down I just don't see the obvious...
Well, I kind of laughed when I read my own post. It was the realization of "Oh, so that's the reason I feel so bad."
And then I saw that a major difference between where I was six years ago and today is that only one of my problems is caused by me. Before, I was the problem. Maybe today I can be part of the solution?
Anyway, I just needed to rant somewhere where it wouldn't cause any harm.