Hi - so sorry that things got to you so much. Are you going to go get so support apart from on here? Didn't you mention going back to AA? (Apologies if not).
Obviously, we're all different, but I know that the 12-step program has really helped me with Living (capitalised intentionally, as it feels like proper Living now) sober. It has helped me learn how to deal with setback without picking up a drink. It has helped me recognise the fears and anxieties that I have, and how these can influence my behaviours if I don't stay alert to them. It has also helped me accept that sometimes things won't go my way, and that is okay. (Eg. I can wholeheartedly say that I have had a good week. That is despite: My boss accusing me of something that I don't believe is my fault; being head-butted by one pupil on the nose; being kicked in the mouth by another pupil - I no longer need to take these things personally. I can accept that other people can be damaged and not take it personally. Before I would have been angry and upset and writing resignation letters all over the place. But here I still am - serene and content and loving my job despite these misadventures - it's a special needs school by the way , so the behaviour is more understandable than it might have been in a mainstream setting.)
Sometimes things that seem to be a bane, can turn out to be a blessing. What happened with your gambling addiction last time you went on a cruise?
Maybe, just maybe, it could be a good thing that your financial situation is giving you time to reconsider putting yourself in a triggering situation like that again? Is it worth the risk? If you do end up booking the cruise it's probably worth spending some time thinking about how you can safeguard yourself from the triggers this time.