It has really inspired me to dig down and find alot more patience with B.
Lots of my patience with D comes from how much he improved before coming to look for me. Someone can bluff 'good' behaviour for a week or even a few months but he had 6 years of steady improvement behind him. I think that makes it easier rather than make me any better.
Maybe counseling will help you understand what the "triggers" are so you can either be more pro-active about avoiding them, or getting yourself to a safe place (sitting down, at the very least) before the fears kick into high gear.
Nothing really happens when I feel this - I'm aware of it, like remember how he felt to hug when he was very thin and that does make me want to hug the plumper him! I know it's not rational - or at least it's out of place so it doesn't escalate, I just stay aware that it's there.
This has really brought it home to me though that my feelings are still over protective and even without acting on that, even standing back, it's still something I need to sort out.
I haven't said anything yet because he's doing uni work. I hope I get it together to mention it after tea!! This is from me, I know he won't react badly and nothing bad will happen but I haven't got over my personal hump with this yet! He doesn't get home from work till gone 7pm, then studies till sometimes 10pm, go me making an excuse of the fact he looks knackered!!
I hope I'm not the only one who occassionally flounders around like a fish on a trampoline!!