Am I an "AAer"?
Well, the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking... so I guess I am.
I have gone every day of the week at times... I have not gone for weeks at a time...
What I've found is a balance that works for me is to keep AA as one of a collection of tools that I use. AA is always there for me when I feel I need it, and I'm fortunate to have a home group and sponsor who don't push me or judge me or treat me any differently when I'm there every day than when I'm there every few weeks.
Balance is something I'm continuing to work on, so becoming too consumed with AA didn't work for me. I found that I needed to use AA's in-person community when I was feeling a calling for it... use the step work at my pace and with a sponsor I can trust.... use the Big Book when I felt I needed to quietly remind myself of certain aspects of recovery.
But I augment those tools with meditation, counseling, exercise, SR, time with family, exploring and growing my sober lifestyle with new pursuits, work and home responsibilities.... it's a whole web of things that keep me sober. It is a process of gradually and consistently building a new, deeper, richer sober life.