Hi cambie, thanks for this post. I'm sorry you're going through this kind of slog with your husband. Me too. (Mine is also an alcoholic.) We started our relationship as drinkers -- 20 years ago -- and I only quit at the start of March (though tried countless times before.) My thinking is it's going to take a lot of time, maybe months, to adjust to the our new dynamic. I'm a new me, or trying to be, and I'm awkward and angry and depressed -- and sick and anxious in groups. It will take time and effort, ugh lots of both, to get comfortable in my own skin -- and even more time to thrive.
Let's try to be easy ourselves as we make this healthy adjustment, for as long as that takes. Let's keep sobriety as a priority. Our relationships with friends, colleagues, partners might feel awkward now, but drinking will only make our relationships worse. Just thoughts. I'm actually struggling a lot, and learning a lot. Hoping this post is helpful. If anything, you know you're not alone.