Trach, never wish your posts deleted. You're expressing what a lot of us feel from time to time -- fear and frustration that we can't help others recover, and guilt that we (I) maybe don't show the best side of our(my)self on this forum.
We're doing our best to find our way through this thing, and expressing that process, and sharing it with one another in mutual support. You never know -- will it be an expression of strength or weakness or humor or grief that helps someone today? All you can do is keep posting.
((trach))