I am so sorry to hear about the rift between you and your friend! It is hard to watch someone you care for be spoken to in an abusive way. I don't blame you for not wanting to be around your friend's husband--I wouldn't either.
I'm afraid you will never be able to make her 'see the light'. Sadly, that is something she will have to do on her own. Maybe she will reach out again at some point when she needs your help.